Let's Tally it Up...

My coworker's have just reminded me of last year's list of resolutions/goals. Let's see how I did:

1) The traditional "lose weight" goal is here. I have gained weight and it is time for it to leave. I have yet to formulate an actual plan to lose weight however. (sigh). (subgoal: come up with a plan to lose weight, other than wishing it away. apparently eating tator tots for dinner does not work)


RESULT: FAIL. I haven't weighed myself, but I'm guessing I have not lost weight. I'm still wearing the same clothes as last year.

2) Clean out all closets and get rid of all non-fitting clothes and all clothes that were purchased prior to 2000. ( subgoal: include Jeremy's clothes as well... even though he still thinks it's classy to wear high-school wrestling t-shirts.)

RESULT: SUCCESS. I am fairly diligent at cleaning out my clothes, as well as the kids' clothes. I did not achieve the subgoal of Jeremy's closet -- but I will consider this bullet item a success!

3) Make 5 new Betty Crocker cookie recipes. (subgoal: find out why her cookbook spells it "cooky")

RESULT: FAIL -- but a possible success in the regard that since I didn't make them, I didn't eat them! So...yeah...I would like to know why she spells it "Cooky" though. Maybe I'll include that on next year's list.


4) Go on a family "vacation." Possible locales: Storybook Land in SD, Minneapolis (i needs me some IKEA and Outlet Mall..and friends, i miss my friends), or KS to see my dad/s-mommy.

RESULT: SUCCESS!  We went to Bismarck in July AND Kansas City in October. (PLUS Jeremy and I went on 2 trips by ourselves!)

5) Get a massage. So far this list is a lot of work.

RESULT: SUCCESS!! Sister Rosalind's had a $15 sale for the graduating students to get enough practice hours in. I let them practice on me. Mu-ha-ha-ha.


6) Formulate a non-halfass business plan for law office. I keep dreaming about opening my own firm, but i need to do something about it other than nothing. (which i have perfected) i need to find out if it is something that i could do, reasonably.

RESULT: EH... DEBATABLE. I attended a 6 hour training on formulating business plans, I have determined how much money I need to bill/generate per month in order to maintain our current level of living, and I have an offer of employment.  Thus far, I am chicken. I may be keeping my business plan half-ass in order to avoid having to make the scary leap into self-employment land.
7) Have (at-least) one date with Jeremy / month.

RESULT: SUCCESS! We go on a lot of lunch dates and have on occassion left the kids with a grandma to go out to eat, see a movie, etc.  We often just talk about the kids and when we're going to go pick them up.


8) Bake a cake from scratch.

RESULT: SUCCESS! (kind-of).  I made tres leches cupcakes and the recipe called for a white cake mix plus a bunch of other ingredients, so I consider this a success. The cupcakes were delicious. The Mexican I baked them for even approved.

9) Landscape front yard... This does not have to be a full-scale landscape, but at the very least it has to be enough to keep stupid neighbor (aka "boatman") from parking his damn boat 1 foot from my bedroom window. he may think it's okay to park on my grass, but it will not be okay to park on my bricks, woodchips, flowers..etc. (subgoal: perfect evil laugh for when boatman sees landscaping and realizes his damn boat cannot be 1 foot from my bedroom window anymore)

RESULT: SUCCESS!! I am very glad I put in the caveat "this does not have to be a full-scale landscape" because it wasn't.  We had an enormous evergreen removed and were left with an even larger dirt patch.  Dirt was brought in to fill the hole, and grass was seeded.  The boat was moved. We couldn't be happier.

10) Update kitchen -- new floor or new paint. something. less fur tumbleweeds from cat.

RESULT: FAIL.  The kitchen hasn't been touched.  I have renewed dreams to get new countertops and an undermounted sink after reading this though. Maybe 2011 will be my year!

11) Start college funds for the kids. I am able to do this online so i just need to get my head outta my arse.

RESULT: SUCCESS. The kids each have a North Dakota 529 plan that we contribute to each month (automatically deducted thankyouverymuch).


12) Let people know when they make me happy. i don't think i'm a mean person, but i don't think i always communicate my positive feelings all the time.

RESULT: SUCCESS -- mostly.  I have done my best to let my family know when I am content, and they think I'm nuts.  "Oh, mommy's getting weird again" is usually the response I get when I start to blurt out stuff like "I am so happy that you are all here. I really love you guys."  I try to call my husband and let him know when I'm thinking about him, because usually, when he walks in the door at night I shove a kid at him and tell him to stay out of the kitchen while I'm cooking...or some other similarly affectionate line.


13) Grow a garden this summer. (subgoal: water the garden regularly)

RESULT: SUCCESS. If you live in Fargo, I'm sure you got a bag, or two, or 20 of my garden crops. It was a huge success, and next year it will be tamed down.

14) Catch up on scrapbooking. (while fun, this is actually daunting since i haven't scrapbooked since Brynn was born)

RESULT: FAIL. I didn't scrapbook a single thing. This still bothers me.


15) Set up extra bedroom. (which is currently a toy/moving box dumping ground...with no bed or furniture other than buried treadmill, which could help me with #1. this list is oddly cyclical
 
RESULT: EH...FAIL.  This one is tricky. The extra bedroom is now an organized toy dumping ground.  My original intent was to have this room actually function as an extra bedroom, and it is not, so it is a fail.
 
OVERALL SCORE:
9/14* SUCCESS!! (or 64%)
5/14* FAIL (or 36%)
 
(*I have calculated based on 14, rather than 15, because I cannot determine if #6 is yay or nay.)
 
Coming Soon: My list of crap to complete in 2011.

Just So You Know...

Dear Princess Tator Tot,

I wanted you SO SO bad, and was so incredibly excited when I learned that you were going to be part of our family.  I had no idea how much work babies were, but I knew that we'd get along just fine. And, we generally do...we actually get into a lot of trouble together.

I wanted to name you Bailey, and your daddy went along with it for awhile.  We even told everybody that was going to be your name!  But, your daddy changed  his mind and put his foot down (as you've learned he sometimes does) and said that we were naming you Brynn.  I'm glad that he did, because, he was right. Your name is supposed to be Brynn.

When you were born though... daddy didn't call you Brynn.  He called you IttyBitty.  He called you this for a LONG time.

I get a bit sad sometimes when I see how big you are growing. Last night you called me a Turd Butt and a Poopy Head.  (sigh).  I understand that this is all part of growing up, and I get it.  I just hope that you continue to want me to cuddle you and hug you.  You are so incredibly wonderful, smart, and funny.  You are so caring and concerned about other people and I am constantly in awe of how you "get it" at such a young age. This year you helped me buy Christmas presents for kids who wouldn't normally be getting presents, and I loved that you were so excited about it.

You continue to wear primarily only dresses, and pink ones at that.  You occassionally mix it up with a pair of sparkly silver pants and a non-pink rhinestone studded shirt... I think I like the pink dresses more, my silly girl. I also admire your stamina to grow your hair to your booty.  (Good luck with that girl. I could never do it.)

So, what I want to say to you this Christmas Season (and every day from here to eternity) is this: You (and your stinky brother) are my absolute everything. I love you more than the world, and nothing will ever change that. I want you to keep your stubborn nature and your desire to negotiate everything.  I want you to stay assertive, and I want you to kick the world's ass in the future and chase all of your dreams. You deserve it.

Who wouldn't love a girl that insisted upon wearing socks and tennis shoes to the lake?

Before I Forget.

I knew you were you before anybody else did.  Your daddy got upset with me for buying you all sorts of clothes and cute outfits.  He said "what if it's a girl??" I told him it wasn't. I didn't know your name yet, but I knew it was you.

I had a whole bunch of different names for you. For a couple days you were Thijs (Tice), but a wise person commented that people might think your name was "Thighs," and that just wouldn't be cool.  I tried to convince your dad that your name was Roman... but he didn't agree.  I then tried to convince him that your name was Carson, but he didn't agree with that either... He said your name was Brandon, and he was right.

When you were a fresh itty bitty baby, you stayed home with me.  We'd nap together and sleep together every night. During the day we'd watch lots of realty tv shows and do lots of cuddling.  I'm happy that you sleep in your own room now, but I sure treasure our little cuddles and kisses whenever I can get them.

You are such a sweet, sensitive little boy right now.  You definitely get hurt feelings if somebody uses a harsh tone with you (but, dear monkey, if you'd stop throwing stuff in the toilet, we wouldn't have to use those tones) and you quickly burst into your crocodile tears with your pouty lips, and come running for a hug.  I'm sorry to say, but your daddy and I really think that this is hilarious.

You are taking after your sister, and are talking up a storm. However, since most of your favorite words start with a "B" they all kind of sound the same. Bread, Ball, Bath, Book.  You get super excited for bath time and as soon as we say "Ready for a bath?" you go tearing down the hallway and try to get in the tub.  We always remind you that you have to take off your clothes first, but that doesn't seem to matter much to you.

So, my baby monkey, I love you.  You (and your princess sister) are the only presents I need and want under the Christmas tree this year.

Photojournalism by a 4 1/2 Year old (Part II)

As you may recall, Brynn's previous photography spread focused largely on posteriors (right? that's the polite way to say "Butts" isn't it?). You can find her skills here: Part I.  Here is her second installment - which focuses largely on MY messy, cluttered bedroom:

The only windows in our bedroom are side-by-side corners. We can look out them and see our neighbor's car.

The classy "lamp as a hanging device" that I created.

Nope, that's not a nipple. That's my light fixture.

A lovely angle...

This is my messy bedside table.

This is my pillow..adjacent to the messy bedside table.

It IS a comfy pillow.

Self-Portrait.

I think my girl has a career mapped out for her!! And.. it's not photography.

Totally Inappropriate Story to Share...

The kids were in the tub last night. They were playing without issue, so I went to throw a diaper away in the kitchen.  I returned to the bathroom 10 seconds later and this is what I  heard:

Daughter:  "Mom, I'm touching Brandon's heighness. With a 'poon!"

Me: "Um.. what?"

Daughter: "I'm touching his heighness!"

Son giggles and begins to laugh hysterically.

Me: "Oh, you're touching his PENIS with a SPOON??!!"

Daughter: "Yes! His highne-PE-ness!! And he likes it!"

Son continues to laugh hysterically as daughter demonstrates.

Me: "Oh, okay. Well, don't do that anymore okay? You don't need to touch his private parts. He doesn't touch your vagina, so just leave him alone."

Daughter: "Oh he can touch my be-gina." (daughter stands up and hands brother the spoon).

Me: "Okay, bathtime is over!"

*******

So, I later relayed a portion of this story to my mom and she was horrified. The part that horrified her was that I acutally use the words "penis" and "vagina" with my children.  Her opinion was that maybe the word "bottom" was more appropriate for the entire boy/girl private part region and that specific details could emerge later on in life... I disagree. So, I ask you, if you can get over the weirdness of my children, what do you let your kids call their "bottoms" ?

Sound Bites.

In honor of the deer hunting season opening (that I do NOT follow, participate in, nor care about), I shall speckle my post with bullets.

•  (Be careful, I don’t want to accidentally shoot you.)

• I just finished reading Back Roads. This was an Oprah book that I firmly believe slipped through her quality control department, because when I finished it, I didn’t want to heave myself off of a cliff or want to join a support group with similar book-reading survivors. There was also a number of Danielle Steele-worthy moments, and unless Oprah was fighting with Stedman (or Gayle depending on what gossip-mag you’re inclined to believe), I don’t recall that much “smut” being included in her books before…

• I’ve been trying to decide what I would do if I won $500. I would like to buy stuff, but the responsible thing would be to save it. As a result of my internal confliction, I surely hope that I don’t win a large sum of money anytime soon.

• I’m trying to convince somebody, anybody, to dress up like an Avatar as a birthday present for me. Simply put – I think this would be the BOMB. (For planning purposes, my birthday is November 20).

• Kim vs. Christmas Lights – the winner was the Christmas lights. I pulled out the ladder, the lights, and the hooks. I climbed the ladder. I was unable to understand the hook system. FAIL. I also attempted to do this during last weekend’s Vikings game, so my cries for help went unanswered. DOUBLE FAIL. I might just throw the lights on top of my pumpkin bags and call it good.

• I’ve recently found out that a bloggy friend of mine is pregnant! My first thought after feeling happiness and joy for her was, “Thank God it’s not me!” (Congrats Laura! You’ll make it!!)

• Another bloggy friend of mine has posted video of her family playing with a Kinect. (cross-reference bullet #2) and now I want one… problem is, I don’t have an Xbox. (Thanks Shanna!)

• I’ve been contemplating only giving home-made gifts this year. I’m not able to currently make a home-made doll house however, so the kids might get a pass. I’m already preemptively annoyed by making sure I spend the “right” amounts on people, and making sure I follow the lists correctly.

• Stray bullet. Be careful.

That baby grew.

She grew and she grew and she grew. She grew until she was Four years-old.

She refused to eat anything but candy and drink anything but chocolate milk or grape juice.
She would only wear pink dresses and she would always be a sleepyhead-grump-bucket in the morning.
Oftentimes her mother would fear what she was in for when this Four year-old turned sixteen.

But sometimes, late at night, if that Four year-old girl was really sleeping...
That mother would sneak into her bedroom and cuddle up next to that sleeping girl, on that creaky bed.
She would rub the girl's tummy and kiss her cheeks and think to herself,

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be -- and thank God for you."