this is for you, my blog stalker! (i've always wanted one of those)

in august, we went from 1 to 2, or from 3 to 4 depending on how and who you count. my pregnancy was fairly uneventful -- and i knew from day one that i was having a boy. i only asked the sex at the ultrasound to convince my husband and to get him off my case about all the clothes i had already bought.

since i had a c-section with brynn, i was able to schedule this birth. so, on the morning of august 20, my mom came over to stay with brynnie until she woke up, and then take her to daycare. i was a nervous wreck, and it was probably fortuitous that i dropped my hair straightener on my hand and had it go into instant blister zone, because my nerves disappeared because i now had to focus on my hand. (i loved walking into the hospital with a huge bag of ice on my hand).

here are the birth highlights:

• while prepping for surgery, the nurse realized she knew my in-laws. she starts chatting to me about 'how are they are doing' all while she's shaving me "down there" - "no - they are not in moorhead anymore, but yes they are still in the area."
• the anesthesiologist did not want me to have a ziploc bag full of ice in the operating room (my blistered hand), so he replaced it with a maxi-pad full of cold gel stuff.... so as i'm holding my gelly maxi-pad, one of the surgery assistants asked a little too loud "what? is it bring your own pad day?" um... no it wasn't. thanks for noticing, thanks even more for commenting.
• i had to call the nurse several times to teach me how to change that kind of diaper. i was used to girls.. not boys with spray guns.

when we came home highlights:

• combination of exhaustion, anxiety, and disbelief. i came home and kept going full-force (it's hard not to when people want to come over and see you) and also because the reality of two kids had yet to sink in. i think it took me at least a month before i was able to vocalize that i needed to rest and to slow down. i had some pretty major guilt about bringing home a baby to brynn's turf... and the whole reason we wanted another child was because of brynn - we didn't want her to be lonely. geesh. truly weird feeling.
• it was incredibly difficult to give brynn a bath, while holding a newborn, while my husband was mowing the yard. a tearful call to my mother soon followed...once brynn was out of the tub.
• my only job for the entire day was to pick up brynn from daycare and to snuggle baby and feed baby. i was always excited to watch 'bringing home baby' every morning at 7am because i liked to see the other parents - especially the ones that i thought were a lot more stressed out than i was. the episode where the mom pulled a muscle after her c-section and had to be whisked off to the hospital in the ambulance was a particular favorite. it was during this time that i began my love affair with jon&kate plus eight, and the duggars. if they could do it, so could i. heck, i only had two to keep track of.

two months later highlights:

• seriously? my maternity leave is over? wtf. an email to my supervisor requesting a couple extra days soon followed. i said that the dr recommended that brandon not start daycare yet. huge sigh of relief for my extra days.
• oh gawd. maternity leave was really over now. memories of a conversation with a coworker on her first day back at work after having her second baby started flooding through my head. i asked her 'so is it easier coming back to work after your second one? it must be a little better, right?' she laughed and said 'absolutely not.'
• yeah, uh, she was correct. my daycare congratulated me about a week after i returned to work - "hey kim! you made it through the entire day without calling!"
• routines are starting to develop at home (not sleep routines, but routines.) i can now get both kids clean on a timely basis. i can be home alone with both kids and not freak out about it. the guilt is gone. brynn now loves her brother most of the time.

four month highlights (aka: "the present")

• brandon hates cereal, applesauce, but loves boobs... which can be problematic at times for everybody else besides me.
• brynn loves her brother...sometimes a little too much. last week she was trying to be helpful, so unbeknownst to me, she decided to pick him up from the floor and bring him to me in the bedroom. um, scary. he survived the trip down the hallway, even though he arrived in somewhat of a headlock.
• i am very happy that we decided to have two babies, and that we were lucky and blessed enough to have two healthy, happy babies. i do not anticipate having anymore of my own -- i feel like i'd be tempting fate a little too much. i have always had this feeling however that i may be a surrogate for somebody, sometime.... but i feel like my family is complete.
• the routine, i fear, is set. we do not sleep through the night, but that is okay. we are perfect otherwise.